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THE FIRST KISS 



A COMEDY IN ONE ACT 



BY 



MAURICE IJAGEMAN 

AUTHOR OF "LOVE'S DIPLOMACY," " IN PAWN," "BY TELEPHONE,'* "A 
CRAZY IDEA," " SONS OF THEIR SIRES," " PROF. ROBINSON," ETC. 









(i OCT SX 1^97 

Co- 



I OCT S] 

^^^f^-^ter of 



CHICAGO 
THB DRAMATIC PUBI^ISHING COMPANY 

U: 






CAST OF CHARACTERS. 

Jack Ludlow— A young benedict 
Louise — His wife. 
Plays twenty minutes. Costumes of to-day. 



Copyright, 1897, by The Dramatic PubHshing Company, Chicago. 

Notice. — The professional acting rights of this play are reserved by 
the publishers, from whom wTitten permission must be obtained before 
performance. All persons giving unauthorized productions will be 
prosecuted to the full extent of the law. This notice does not apply to 
amateurs, who may perform the play without permission. 



THE FIRST KISS. 



Scene. — A handsomely furnished drawing-room. In L. 
flat a glass door leading to a balcony, which overlooks a 
gardeii. In '9.. flat an arch with portieres, leading to a vesti- 
bule. Down stage L. a practicable flreplace with a mantel- 
piece over which hangs a large looking-glass. On the ma^i- 
telpiece are an ormolu clock, some statues or vases, and other 
bric-a-brac. Before the flreplace is a round table with an 
elegant cover and on it a handsome lamp, some books, albums, 
etc. Near the table some chairs. R. 2, a window with lace 
drapery curtains, near which is an open desk with writing 
materials, etc. Lateral doors R. and L. In C. of stage is a 
round causeuse. Other furniture, statues, paintings, and 
bric-a-brac added. 

Louise. [Discovered alone, seated at table L. She is oc- 
cupied in cutting the leaves of a book with a paper-knife, which 
is fashioned like a dagger. ~\ "Her firm resolution" — the new 
novel, which is making such a sensation just now ! Auntie 
says its heroine should serve me as an example. {Sighs^ 
Heigho, what a miserable existence is mine ! \Sees Jack com- 
ing Jrom R.] Ah, my husband. [Pretends to be absorbed in 
her book.] 

Jack. [Entering r. f. with a bouquet, which he hides be- 
hind his back. Places his hat, gloves and catie 071 hat-rack c. 
back.\ Here I am again ! 

Louise. [Indifferently, looks up.] So I perceive, again ! I 
wish you would put an end to this unbearable persecution ! 

Jack. [Laughing and good-naticredly .\ Persecution ? You 
should rather call it devotion. Surely my affection for you is a 
perfectly lawful one ! 

Louise. No, it is criminal ! 

Jack. Criminal ? But, am I not your husband ? 

3 



4 THE FIRST KISS. 

Louise. You ought not to be ! 

Jack. Yes, we are often what we ought not to be ! 

Louise. So much the worse ! 

Jack. Louise, to-morrow you will celebrate your first birth- 
day since our wedding. Will you not on the eve of that joyous 
occasion try to treat me with a little kindness? {^Offers his 
bouquet.'] 

Louise. {^Declining z/.] All your attempts to change my 
resolution are in vain. I repeat what I told you before our 
wedding. 

Jack. What childish nonsense ! 

Louise. Indeed ? Well, maybe ! but now — kindly leave me ! 

Jack. Leave you ? No ! I prefer to remain and put up 
with your romantic notions! [Teftderly.] At least I will be 
able to see and hear you ! ^Offers her his bouquet.'] 

Louise. [Again declini7ig it.] When you asked so persist- 
ently for my hand in marriage, I considered it my duty to con- 
fess to you that since my earliest childhood I had loved my 
cousin Tom, and that we had sworn to love each other until 
eternity. You declared it did not matter and called our love 
youthful pranks. My poor father, who was at that time danger- 
ously ill, took sides with you. Our union was, he told me, for 
various reasons, his ardent wish and will. To disobey him 
might have been his end, — I obeyed, — but I previously declared to 
you that I could never love, that I never would grant you even 
so much as a kiss, therefore you have no right to complain now 
of our unfortunate mutual situation, nor of my lack of candid- 
ness ! 

Jack. No, I suppose I haven't, and as far as your resolutions 
are concerned, you have manfully stuck to them. Many a man 
would have hesitated to wed you under these peculiar circum- 
stances, but I loved you so — I had commenced to look upon life 
as a hideous nightmare. [Offers her the bouquet.] 

Louise. [Indifferently pushing the bouquet away.] Your 
feelings, sir, are absolutely indifferent to me ! 

Jack. I know I am unable to make you forget Tom, I know 
that any comparison between us will be unfavorable to me ; 
I know all of that ! I possess neither his intellectual gifts, nor 
his elegant figure. [Aside.] He's so thin you could pull him 
through a pneumatic tire. [Aloud.] He is pale, assthetic, 
romantically interesting, while I, -unfortunately, am healthy, 
athletic and strong ! [Louise is about to speak, but he stops her 
with a gesture.] Of course, this is not fashionable, not C07nme' 
ii'faut, I know — I know, I am sorry for it, but really I can't 



him 



THE FIRST KISS. 5 

helD it and you ought not to blame me. He happens to be a 
poetical%nI-foot-in.the.grave young man; and I am an ordi- 
nary three meals a day, kicking and alive sort of a chap. 
Louise Whafs the use of all this talk? Now, Tom— - 
Jack [Interruping her and annoyed.] Do you still love 

Louise. I have been taught that it is vulgar and low to tell 

^ Jack "f ^^1 :«//"T:;;..] you admit then that you 

stifwove hTm! I suppose you keep up a highly romantic 

clandestine correspondence with him This is an in- 

Louise. [Rising and indignantly.] Sir ! This is an in 

^""V^^-^^nterruitin?.] The postal authorities ought to re- 
fus^e ?o car^rt andXlivy such im'moral matter ! There should 

"'Cre'"^ Enough, sir! We have never written a line to 
eachTher! Ihfve never even laid eyes on any of his hand- 
Ax/ritmo- ' I should not know it if I saw it ! 

Jack' S.rf and good-naturedly.^ There, there my 
dear, ril tike your word for it ! But it's all so confoundedly 
Stupid ! 

J^''- [r.Vt^ to !Zify her.] I beg your pardon, I should 
havf skid •■■idiotic r The fact of the matter is that you are 
my wife, and these kindergarten love fancies are but dreams - 

S^'orveTl' I shall no longer suffer these imaginary 

killing him in a duel ? ,. , . , i • . 

LoSse. Kill him? I should have died with him ! 

S Yes I suppose so ! That's what has prevented it. I 
think r But ? mighf have shot an ear off. or maybe his nose I 
A noseless rival is less dangerous ! 

Louise. I don't know! It all depends, monster ! 

Jack Louise, will you have a little sense .'' 

^- \^::^Zl,r^nself on a chair.] And this is what 

*l'oSr' v'ou^r y°o°ur'self to blame ! I warned you in time ! 

jS You did, b'ut think of mv love, my hopes ! [louise 
about to go. he jumps up.] Stay, for pity's sake stay ! I preter 
your sarf asm, your insults, your fury to your absence ! 



6 THE FIRST KISS. 

Louise. As you please, but then stop your complaints ! 

Jack. I will ! You are right, it is getting monotonous ! 
But I love you so well, that something in my inmost being tells 
me not to lose heart, for that some day you will relent. And 
thus I continue to hope, to sigh, to suffer ! 

Louise. It will be useless ! And auntie thinks I am right. 
Has she not been a second mother to me, and would she advise 
me wrongfully ? Because I knew she had my welfare at heart, 
I invited her to come and stay with us, — with me, I should say. 
No, do not ask me to love you ; it is impossible ! You know I 
swore to be true to Tom, and I shall keep my oath. And so 
will he, I know. 

Jack. And so I am compelled to live above the coach-house 
on the other side of the garden, over there, [points to balcony] 
while you and [sarcastically] " auntie " hold the fort here ! 

Louise. Tom's last words to me before our marriage were : 
" Louise, your father may die, if you do not become this fellow's 
wife ! " 

Jack. He fellowed me, eh ? [Aside.] I really ought to 
shoot his nose off! 

Louise. "Therefore marry him," he said, "but the day 
when I hear that you also love him, will be my last ! " And 
therefore I asked auntie to come and live with me, and asked 
you to live in the coach-house. You could not expect to live in 
the same house with me under the peculiar circumstances, and 
if you had gone to live in a hotel, there would have been talk 
and scandal. So the coach-house was your only alternative. 
Tom knows of this and has proof of my loyalty to him. Auntie 
says he'd surely kill himself otherwise. 

Jack. Bah, he hasn't got the courage to do it ! [Si£;'/is.] I 
only wish he had, and had occasion to ! 

Louise. [Going to door r.] Good-bye ! I must go and see 
how auntie is ! 

Jack. Are you going ? Very well ! I am boiling over with 
affection, with love, just like a pot of coffee, and you refuse to 
drop an ^gg in it. But there may be others who will not be so 
cruel, and that will settle it. 

Louise. What ? The coffee ? 

Jack. No. This absurd situation ! 

Louise. [Suddenly turning back and going towards Jack ; 
drain a tic ally.] Jack, I am true to Tom, would you become 
untrue to me ? 

Jack. Well, under the circumstances, what else can you 
expect ? 



THE FIRST KISS. 7 

Louise. Very well, then ! My indifference will simply be 
changed to contempt and scorn. 

Jack. Scorn ? No, no, not that ! Your indifference is quite 
sufficient ! I'll let the coffee boil over ! 

Louise. As you please ! Once more, adieu ! I have a call 
to make with auntie. 

Jack. Will you allow me to accompany you ? ^Offers her 
the bouquet.] 

Louise. \DecUnmg z/.] Impossible ! Tom might see us 
together and form wrong conclusions. 

Jack. [Aside.] Tom ! Tom ! He'll pay for this with his 
blood ! \_Sudde7ily, aloud.] Louise, should you ever come to 
your senses 

Louise. Sir ! 

Jack. Should you ever commence to feel a spark of pity for 
your much abused and unfortunate husband, should you ever 
get tired of " auntie's " company, — then place this lamp there, in 
front of the balcony, and I will sail forth from the icebox, — [ 
mean the coach-house, and come to you over the garden wall 
on the pinions of Love, 

Louise. Hope not in vain. I could never do it ! Auntie 
says I would have a murder on my conscience ! [She crosses 
to L. and arrajiges her hair, etc., before the mirror over the 
mantelpiece. 

Jack. [Aside.] Auntie ! auntie ! always auntie ! Damn 
auntie ! When I commenced to court Louise, she imagined I 
was after her, and now, out of spite, she has put my wife against 
me, and plugs for that dyspeptic, consumptive, pneumatic-tire 
individual ! Saints above us, if I could only get rid of auntie ! 
[Louise has finished arranging her toilet and is about to go ; 
aloud.] Louise, will you not accept my bouquet ? 

Louise. No, thanks ! It might hurt Tom's feelings if he 
heard I had accepted flowers from you. 

Jack. [Angrily throws bouquet on causeuse in C ; aside.] 
Tom again ! It's too much ! I can't stand it. I'll speak to 
auntie, and she'll either listen to reason and knock all nonsen- 
sical romance out of her niece's head, or I'll knock Tom's head 
to pieces and sing that spindleshank dude a song, of which he 
won't like to listen to an encore. [Ex. quickly door R. 2 E. 

Louise. [Alone, after Jack has gone, she runs to door R. 
and looks after him, shuts the door and runs to bouquet on 
causeuse C, kneels down and covers it with kisses.] His 
sweet flowers ! How kind he is ! [Rises slowly.] My heart 
breaks when I see how he suffers ! But how can I help it ? 



8 THE FIRST KISS. 

He must be punished for his vanity and the overestimation of 
his own qualities in marrying me, when he knew I loved Tom, 
and for thinking that he might without any trouble supplant 
him in my love ! Did he think my heart was made of wax and 
that he could use it to suit his own lordly fancies ? {Pauses j 
slowly. '\ But still that is what he has done, only I am too 
proud to acknowledge it, and bow my, head before him in sub- 
mission ! If I did — I would be his slave f»r life ! Not that I 
should mind that a bit, but there's auntie, — she thinks Tom would 
really kill himself, if he knew. And then he would be sure to 
reappear again as a ghost, and I'm so afraid of them ! Just 
think of Tom as a ghost, and he's so thin already, covered with 
nothing but a bedsheet, and blood all over it — b-r-r-r-r ! Ah, 

I hear Jack returning — on with my mask again, but first 

\She kisses the bouquet again, takes one rose from it, which 
she hides in her dress, places the botiquet 07i the table 'L.,and 
resumes her former cold attitude.'] 

Jack. {Entering door R. ; aside.] Auntie is as funny as an 
owl, we ought to send her to a menagerie. However she 
seems amenable to reason. [Aloud.] Poor auntie has a head- 
ache, but she will be ready for you in a minute. 

Louise. Thank you ! [The stage gradually commences to 
grow dark. Sunset effect through ^. i E., and balcony Y.. F.j 

Jack. [Gladly.] And she has graciously allowed me to 
come along, to offer her my arm ! [Goes to hat-rack to take 
his hat and cane.] 

Louise. Indeed ? [After a little pause.] Then I will 
stay at home ! 

Jack. So much the better ! I'll stay here with you ; let 
auntie go alone ! 

Louise. No, excuse me, but you must go with her ! 

Jack. And you ? 

Louise. I told you — I'll remain here ! 

Jack. [Disgusted.] Don't you think it's bad enough for 
you not to love me ? Are you also ashamed to be seen in my 
company ? 

Louise. [Determinedly .] If you go, I'll stay ! 

Jack. And if I stay, you'll go ? 

Louise. Exactly ! 

Jack. [Furiously.] Well, I'll be teetotally, doggoned 

Louise. [Stopping him.] Jack, remember you are not at 
the [Name of some theater.] 

Jack. [Exasperated.] Great Scott, anyone would excuse 
a man in my fix for swearing a little ! 



THE FIRST KISS. 

Louise. [Coo/ly.] Well, how is it to be? Are you going 
to stay, or do you want to go ? Choose ! 

Jack, ril stay ! You'd better go ! The fresh evening air 
will do you good ! 

Louise. [Aside.] Always thoughtful of my welfare ! 
[A/oud.] Then — good-bye ! 

Jack. [Detaining her.] Louise, haven't you forgotten some- 
thing ? Won't you take these ? [Points to bouquet on table'L.'] 

Louise. [Pla> es her hand on the hidden rose.\ No, I have 
forgotten nothing ! [Aside.] How I would like to give him a 
good hug, if it was not for that old ghost ! [Sighs, shrugs her 
shoulders, looks a moment at Jack, who is leaniitg ott the table 
L., looking at the /lowers, and ex. slowly R. door, still gazing 
at him. Stage completely dark. Jack sighs, lights the lamp 
on the table L. and comes down stage. Lights up full.] 

Jack. Sometimes I really don't know where I am at ! Am 
I married or not ? Was that my wife just now, or only a living 
picture ? [Suddejily, and working himself into a rage.] But 
I'll put an end to all this, it's lasted long enough ! I'll puncture 
that pneumatic-tire fellow ! [Sits down near table L.] But 
one thing I swear — I'll kiss my wife before to-morrow, if I have 
to do it before her mummy-faced auntie ! How to accomplish 
it though, that's the question. Ah, an idea ! [Jumps up.] If 
I also threatened her with suicide ! To make her choose be- 
tween us two — Tom or Jerry — I mean Jack ! Perhaps she'd 
make us draw straws ! She married me to save her father's 
life, she obstinately refuses to love me to save her cousin's life, 
since she is in the life-saving business — to save mine she might 
[pauses] — no, I don't think she would ! And if I scared her 
into loving me, she might faint and get sick, and there would 
be a doctor's bill to pay ! Is there no way out of this ? Ah, 
another idea ! She said she didn't know Tom's handwriting ! 
I have it ! I'll have to change my own somewhat ! [Goes to 
desk R., sits down and co?nmences to write.] " My darling 
Louise, — Kindly grant me a short interview to-night. I am 
anxiously awaiting your answer behind the garden wall. Wave 
your handkerchief from the balcony of your room, when you 
are ready to receive me. Turn down the lights, so that nobody 
will see me, when I climb the apple-tree." [runs to balcony, 
looks out aftd returns to desk] — No, it's a peach-tree " climb 
tVie peach-tree to your balcony. My life is at stake." [To the 
audiejice.] That " life at stake " formula will settle her ! It's 
a peach. [Writing.] "Yours till eternity — Tom." And now 
the address ! [Writes.] " Mrs. Jno. Ludlow — En Villa." So ! 



10 THE FIRST KISS. 

[Closes envelope.'] How to get it delivered ! \Goes to balcony 
and looks out.] Ah, there's our gardener ! Lucky! [Calling.] i 
Thompson ! Oh, Thompson ! What's that you've got there ? 
What ? A letter for my wife ? Oh, I see ! As soon as she 
comes home, eh ? All right ! Here, give her this one at the 
same time, but don't tell her it came from me ! Say they came 
together ! Now then, catch ! {Throws letter from balco7iy. He 
holds out his hand.] Ah, it's commencing to rain slightly ! I 
bet that will bring her home again. She must have gone out on 
foot, for I can see the coachman cleaning the harness across the 
lawn. Yes, by Jingo, there they come round the corner, auntie 
trailing behind, puffing like a steamtug ! There, Thompson 
has given her the letters ! Now to make myself scarce, and to 
watch, in this rain. [Takes his hat, turns up his collar and 
ex. door L. 3 E. Enter Louise d. r. f. with two letters in her 
hand: These letters must be i?i two distinct and different en- 
velopes. She takes off her hat and cloak while speaking.] 

Louise. I'm glad it started to rain, and we had to come 
back ! Poor tellow, I am teasing him ! He's gone and I sup- 
pose he is angry ! Ah ! [Sighs, sits down near table L. atid 
looks at the two letters.] Strange, two letters in unknown hand- 
writings at a time ! [Opens Jack's letter, and throws the other 
ojie on the table.] From Tom ! Heavens ! [Follows the lines 
quickly.] What? Receive him here alone ? Now? No, — im- 
possible ! And still it may be fate ! It would be our first meet- 
ing since our wedding, and I might take the occasion to release 
Tom from his vows, and to beg — to pray him to restore me to 
my freedom of conscience, my liberty ! Has not poor Jack been 
punished enough already ? But still to be alone with him, all 
alone — the courage fails me ! Ah, what a glorious idea ! 
Auntie will receive him in my place, and ask him to forgive and 
forget me ! He is waiting near the garden wall for the signal ! 
So be it ! [Goes to balcony.] 

Jack. [Slightly opening door L. and watching her.] She 
has read the note ! Ah ! she waves her handkerchief ! The 
signal ! [Hides again.] 

Louise. Now quick to call auntie ! [Ex. down R.] 

Jack. [Comi7ig slowly dowjt stage.] I commence to feel 
quite uncomfortable at the idea of going to be quite alone with 
my wife, that I'll fold her in my arms and press her to my heart, 
and thinking at the same time that she'll take all these endear- 
ments as coming from another fellow ! It's a damnable situa- 
tion ! I'm my own rival ! I'm husband and lover ! Trickster 
and tricked ! Victor and vanquished ! She comes, I can no 






THE FIRST KISS. H 

I longer vaseline I mean vacillate ! Quick, down to the garden 
mud, by the back staircase ! \Ex. door l ] L'l^uen 

Louise. ^Entering the door r.] Auntie is lying down with 
er usual nerve attack and I didn't have the hea?t to dis^u b 
I er ! [.V,,^.^ ts heard offstage, l. u. E.J Oh. he's jumped over 

Id or Stage dark.] How I tremble, but there's no way oft of 

/ It ! Heaven give me strength and courage ' 
I nJfh ^^^'"''' ^^^^'^ ^^'' ^^'^^ony banisters and conies down 
Z\TTJlT ;^ I. can now imagine how a poor burglar 
Tntl 1 ^ T ' '^'""''^"'^ {''' voice to a high falsetto to imitate 
iom'S. I Louise, are you there ? 

Louise. [Trembling.] Yes ! 

Jack. Where are you ? Give me your hand ' 

Louise. My hand ? Never ! Keep away from me ! 
jxi^?u\ ^ "\ !''' natural voice.] She refuses ! Good ' 

But that proves nothing ! They always refuse at first ! \ Works 
his way gradually to R. 7iear desk.] ^ 

Louise. [Crossing behind causeuse to L.l Tom I have 
consented to see you, but ^ ", -i na\e 

Jack. [Feeling his way j aside.] I've lost my bearings' 
[Bumps against desk.] Oh. there's the desk ! [ Upsets writing 
?naterialand inkstand; in so doing he blackens hisfin^ersS 
Great Scott. I ve upset something ! [Aloud as before.] Louise 
f^^f^^. yo"^ hand, your sweet, little plump hand ! [Mov- 

Louise. Tom I forbid you to come any nearer ! [Runs ui 
stages, passes behind causeuse to R., and comes dozunsta^e/] 

^Pi^k}\Jn 'f% ^-^ .^^' '^^y "^'^ ^""''^"^^ coyness? 
[^Eicks up Paper-knife y aside.] The paper-knife ! Bravo ! 
[Aloud.] Louise have pity on me, or I will not answer for the 
consequences ! I am armed ! 

Louise. [Alarmed.] Armed ? Oh. heavens ' 

Jack Convince yourself! [He holds the handle of the 
paper-knife towards her ; she touches it and jnmps back in 
fright.] Louise, if this meeting is not to be a happy one. I'll 
blow my brains out with this-this-this-Cuban machete. 
[Aside.] That s a corker. 

Louise. But Tom, reflect. I am married, I have a husband ! 

JaCK. Ihats usual when you're married ! 

Louise. Against my will, you know ! I was compelled ' 

Jack. [Aside.] Very flattering ! [^^«^.] ' But you do not 
love him, eh ? Answer, tell me you do not love your husband ! 

Louise. [Aside.] He'll kill himself if I tell him the truth ' 



12 THE FIRST KISS. 

Jack. Speak ! The point ot my yatagan pierces my flann^;! 
shirt. 

Louise. YQuickly ^^ No, no. I do not love him ! 

Jack. {Fiercely, turning towards her.~\ Say, you hate him ! 
\Grabs her wrist.'] 

Louise. {Trembling.'] I — I hate him ! 

Jack. {Releasing her, aside.] That's a pleasant confession. 
It's monstrous. {Aloud, tenderly.] Angel, give me your fairy 
hand ! 

Louise. [Aside.] After all it may be best. I may the sooner 
get rid of him, and there's no harm in it. {Aloud.] But after 
I give you my hand you must go. 

Jack. Yes, yes ! I'll go — afterwards ! {Takes her handy 
aside.] She really gives him her hand, it's scandalous ! {Aloud.] 
And now let me print one kiss on it ! 

Louise. {Pulling her hand away.] No, never ! 

Jack. Must I die ? 

Louise. No, no ! For heaven's sake — not that ! But then, 
will you leave me at once ? 

Jack. Immediately ! {She offers her ha7id, which he kisses j 
aside.] The female crocodile, to let that fellow kiss her hand ! 
{Aloud.] Yes, Louise, I will go, after I have pressed you to my 
burning heart ! {Is about to einbrace her.] 

Louise. {With firmness.] Oh, Tom, not that! 

Jack. Louise, will you refuse me to-night one of those sweet 
kisses with which you formerly used to make me so happy ? 
{Aside.] That was awfully risky ! 

Louise. {Angrily.] Sir, are you going crazy ? When have 
you ever dared to offer me such an insult ? 

Jack. {Aside.] Thank the Lord ! How noble she is in her 
justified anger ! It's taken a load of my mind ! 

Louise. Enough, sir ! Leave me at once ! 

Jack. Leave you ? Now ? Never ! {Passes up and down 
as if in anger.] 

Louise. {Aside.] How can I get rid of him ? If I could 
only get that dagger away from him ! {Aloud.] Now, please, 
Tom, don't get excited ! 

Jack. {Aside.] What ? She hesitates ? Then she's lost ! 
Oh, woman, woman ! If I wasn't myself, who knows what 
might happen to me ! Luckily I am here to see that she doesn't 
go too far with the other fellow ! 

Louise. {Aside.] Ah, I have it ! [Alotid.] Come, Tom, 
sit down here beside me ! [Sits down on causeuse C. and 
makes place for Jack.] 



THE FIRST KISS. I3 

Jack. [Aside] I wouldn't ask for anything better, if I 
wasn't the other fellow. [Si/s dcnvti <^^j/V/6' Louise.] 

Louise. Give me your hand ! 

Jack. [Aside.] My hand ! Faithless wretch ! [Gives her 
his hand s aiotcd,] Adored one ! 

Louise. Now promise me to be sensible and cool ! 

Jack. I promise, my angel ! [Aside.] Hypocrite ! 

Louise. Put both your hands in mine ! 

Jack. [Aside.] Both ? Abominable ! She is making the 
advances now ! 

Louisa. Well ? 

Jack. [Aside.] I'll see how far her treachery will go ! 
[Picts paper-knife between them and places his hands in her 
left one. She grabs the knife with her right hand and throws 
it under the desk R. He quickly embraces her. She jumps up 
a7id pushes him from her.] 

Louise. Traitor, begone ! 

Jack. [Jumping up ; aside.] She's allowed me, I mean 
the other fellow to kiss her ! I'll sue tor a divorce ! 

Louise. Oh, heavens 1 

Jack. What is it ? 

Louise. I hear footsteps ! My husband is coming ! Go 
quickly ! 

Jack. On one condition ! 

Louise. What is it ? 

Jack. Write me a note, — I'll wait in the garden below, — 
throw it from the balcony, — let me know when and where we 
shall meet again ! [Aside.] That will settle the divorce 
question ! 

Louise. Yes, but begone at once. 

Jack. Farewell, adored one ! [Aside.] Serpent ! 

Louise. Good-bye ! Go ! Go ! [Jack climbs over the 
balcony and exit.] 

Louise. [Alone ; goes to door r., a7id brings out the lamp, 
which she places on desk R. All lights up full.] Well, I've 
never been so astonished in all my life. To think that Tom, 
who has always been so modest and gentle could behave like 
this ! Now I despise him ! I shall never speak to him again ! 
Listen, he is walking up and down beneath the balcony ! If 
Jack should discover him ! I must write that note, or he'll never 
go 1 [Sits down at desk.] Ev^erything here is upset, even the 
inkstand ! Tom must have done this in the dark ! I'll use a 
pencil ! [ Writes and speaks while writing.] I'll make him 
feel sorry for this ! To dare to kiss me ! The impudent fellow ! 



14 THE FIRST KISS. 

I shall have no more pity on him ! He may commit suicide for 
all I care, ghost or no ghost ! Even my husband has never 
dared to take such a liberty, and yet he is entitled to it, and I 
wish he would ! [Finishes turitifig, places note in envelope, 
which she seals and goes to balcony j softly. '\ Tom ! 

Jack. \^Oiitside.'\ Dearest! 

Louise. Here ! [Throws letter otit.'] Ah, he's going ! 
Thank heaven, he has vanished in the dark ! [Cojnes down 
stage.'] And now to rest ! I need it after this scene ! [Goes 
to table L.] Here's that letter still unopened ! [Goes to desk R., 
opens letter and reads.] What's this ? From Tom's mother, 
announcing his engagement to Lily Burbank ! [She falls in 
chair.] Am I dreaming ? Then it can't have been Tom who 
was here just now ! Could it have been Jack ? I'll make sure 
of it. [Takes lamp from desk and places it on small table be- 
fore the balcony?] Now, I'll have my last revenge on him, 
poor fellow ! [Sits down near table L.] 

Jack. [Entering hastily R. F.] Yes, the lamp is there ! I 
didn't dream. [Takes np lajnp and comes down stage.] 
Louise, was this signal meant for me ? 

Louise. [Aside.] His fingers are full of ink ! There can be 
no mistake ! Aloud.] Yes, I wanted you ! [Aside.] To 
punish you, traitor. 

Jack. [Puts lamp on desk.] And to what lucky circum- 
stance do I owe this unlooked for happiness ! 

Louise. I wasn't feeling quite well ! I'm burning with 
fever ! 

Jack. [Aside.] And she has called her husband to cool her 
down ! 

Louise. But I am feeling slightly better now ! Thanks ! 
You can go back ! I shall not need you any 7nore ! 

Jack. [Aside.] I've had no time as yet to read that treacher- 
ous note. 

Louise. Pardon me, if I have disturbed you ! 

Jack. Don't mention it, but hadn't I better go and get you 
some medicine. 

Louise. No, thanks ! It'll pass ! Good-night ! 

Jack. [Aside.] Good-night, eh ? No, I must speak ! I 
must have an explanation, or I'll bust a bloodvessel ! [Aloud.] 
Louise, I wish to speak with you on a grave and serious subject ! 

Louise. [Aside.] It's coming ! I can hardly keep from 
laughing ! [Aloud.] Well sir, I'm at your pleasure, only, 
please, hurry, it can't be of much consequence ! 

Jack. Not of much consequence ? No, may be not to you ! 



THE FIRST KISS. 1 5 

It's only about your husband's honor and peace of mind ! \^Sud- 
dcnly.\ False woman, I know all ! 

Louise. Indeed .? All about what ? 

Jack. [Dramatically.] I know that only a short while ago 
you have received a man in this very room ! [Sees thai his 
fingers are full of ink ; aside.] Oh, the devil, I upset the ink- 
stand just now ! [Aides his hands behinds him j aloud.] 
Do you day dare to deny it, madam ? 

Louise. If I tell you the entire truth, will you promise me to 
remain quite calm ? 

Jack. I do ! [Aside.] I wonder what she is going to say 
in explanation ! 

Louise. Will you swear it ? 

Jack. I swear it. [Lifts up his hand, looks at the ink, and 
hides it again quickly.] 

Louise. Yes, then, I confess it — a man was here but a short 
time ago ! 

Jack. Angrily.] So, you admit it. 

Louise. I do 1 

Jack. [Excitedly.] All right ! That's enough ! I'll bring 
suit ! I'll get a divorce. [Goes a?igrily tip and down.] 

Louise. You've sworn to remain cool, — keep your word ! 
Furthermore, he is still here ! 

Jack. What's that ? [Aside.] Can Tom have entered here 
in reality after I left ? [Alotid?^ He is here, eh ? 

Louise. Yes ! 

Jack. Then I'll kill him ! 

Louise. Kill him ? But he's in my house, — my guest ! 

Jack. That's why I'll kill him ! Why didn't he stay in his 
own house ? Any jury will exonerate me, it I kill him ! That 
is to say, if they're all married men ! 

Louise. [Imploring hi?n mock-dramatically .] Jack, if you 
kill that man, you will kill me at the same time, and yourself 
too ! 

Jack. Myself too, eh ? Don't you fool yourself! It'll make 
me feel a better man ! [He searches everywhere.] Where did 
you hide him ? The scoundrel ! The disturber of my domestic 
felicity ! [Points to door L.] Ah, may be he is in there ! 

Louise. [Places herself before the door.] Jack ! 

Jack. Out of my way, faithless wretch ! [Slings her to c. 
and opens the door.] Come out of there, sir ! Out, I say ! [Ex. 
door, L.] 

Louise. [Alone, bursts out laughing.] Ahaha 1 

Jack. [Re-entering.] He's gone 1 He must have escaped 



l6 THE FIRST KISS. 

by the back stairs ! But no matter ! \Takes out note. 'I Here 
will be cause enough for a separation ! [Places chair C. of stage 
and sits dow 71 J opens note j /^Louise.] Down on your knees, 
madam, — on your knees ! 

Louise. . \kneels to him mock-dramatically ,'\ Jack, for pity's 
sake, have mercy ! {She leans with her right ar?n on his left 
ktiee, he looks at her, pushes her off, and tiirtis the chair away 
from her.] 

Jack, [Reading.] Eh, what's this ? [Reading.] " True 
love cannot be hidden long, especially when legitimate." [Louise 
has g07ie to the other side of hiin, kneels again and repeats 
saine business as before.] She calls her love for him legitimate ! 

Louise. Yes, dear ! [Jack pushes her off again. Same 
play as before to the other side] 

Jack. Her ideas of what's legitimate are slightly muddled. 
[To Louise.] Don't you blush for your own immoral principles ? 

Louise. No, dear 1 

Jack. [Jumps from the chair. Louise sits down in it,] It's 
unheard of — unbearable. [Reading.] " He who possesses my 
heart." [Aside.] Oh, I could jump out of the window ! [Re- 
fleeting.] No, I couldn't, it's too high! [Reading] "My 
heart is not yours, Tom," What's that ? Is there still another 
one ? — " but it is my own dear husband's, my noble and patient 
Jack ! [Staggers.] Jack ! I ! I know — it's night ! I'm in 
bed and dreaming ! 

Louise. It's no dream. Jack ! But now it's my turn ! Come 
here. [Imitating hi7n.] Down on your knees, sir, — on your 
knees ! 

Jack. On my knees ! On all fours, if you wish it ! Louise, 
you have made me so happy, and I've made such an ass of my- 
self ! [K7ieels.] 

Louise. [Takes his head in her hands and kisses him.] 
What will poor auntie say ! 

Jack. Oh, auntie be 

Louise. Jack ! 

CURTAIN. 



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